As I sit in my office, days before the release of A Closed Mouth, I feel some nervousness. You see, this is my first novel. I’m excited to finally be nearing the end of this journey, yet a little trepidatious about what lies ahead. The road getting to “publish” was long and arduous. It began with a dream to write a book. I thought it would be easy; however, I quickly learned how difficult the task would become. I used writing as a tool to keep myself entertained while recuperating from a bout of pneumonia. The first few chapters poured from my mind with ease. Creating well-rounded characters with depth was another story.
As the story unfolded, I found myself emotionally involved. The strain was so bad I stopped writing for six months. Several family members and friends called to encourage me to continue. So, I pressed onward until I finished. After writing the manuscript, I contemplated not publishing it. I was afraid to put my work into the world. Fear kept me paralyzed for three more months. Finally, after more encouragement from loved ones, I reached out to a company to put the eBook and paperback together.
The process was challenging, to say the least. Nerves, frustration, lack of understanding of the process all jumbled together, causing me to want to give up…again! Throughout this process, I discovered that I give up when things get too complicated in my life. I’m not proud of this attribute because it has kept me from growing. Nonetheless, I had too many people, at this point, rooting for me and my success.
I had family, friends, and Beta Readers who were all chomping at the bit for me to release A Closed Mouth. So here I sit, less than a week before the debut of my first literary work, telling myself to be fearless. I’ve discovered through this period in my life that being courageous doesn’t mean having no fear.
It means fear less of what is holding me back. Today, I’m choosing not to fear judgment, not to fear ridicule, and to have less fear of the voice inside my head telling me what I can’t do or how it won’t be received. I wasted nine months being fearful. I finally dare to release my work into the world. For that, I’m very proud.
Courageously Yours,
Lauryn